Three and a Long-necked Chicken

Welcome to Las Vegas

Vegas Debrief. In a word – fabulous. Jeff and I left Thursday night for three days in Sin City, and Colt got to spend his second weekend in a row with Grandparents. Grandmother and Pop (Jeff's parents) came and stayed at the house for the weekend so Jeff and I could go away for the weekend. And I am here to tell you they are saints. Saints. Grandmother described her weekend as, "trying to tame a whirlwind" and I think it's just about right. 

After we strapped the carseat into Granny's car and gave her the lowdown on the sleeping/eating/bathing schedule, we were off to the airport. Our flight was actually EARLY so we got to Vegas 30 minutes ahead of schedule. And I would like to point out – for the record – that I packed less for this trip than I have in my LIFE. The airline had a $40 charge per carry-on, per leg – so, needless to say, Jeff informed me we would not be checking any bags. It's amazing what you truly don't need. *sheepish grin*

When we got off the plane, we found our way to the hotel shuttle. We were the first people onto the bus, but it was full (about 20 people) before it left. And of course, we were the very last stop – but since our plane had been early we decided we were even. 

We schlepped our stuff into the Golden Nugget where we experienced the most vivid Seinfeld moment of our lives. We walked up to the check-in desk, showed ID, blah blah, and Dennis The Hotel Employee informed us that there were no King rooms available. Jeff spoke up and reminded Dennis that we had requested a King. Dennis could see our request in his computer, was terribly anything but sorry, but repeated that there were no King rooms available. We looked at each other and snickered – quoting one of our favorite Seinfeld scenes. "You know how to take the reservation. You just don't know how to hold the reservation. And that's really the most important part of the reservation. The holding."  

So double beds it was. Yep. I Love Lucy style. 

After we dropped our stuff in the room, we ventured down for a bite and some action. Nancy had peaked my interest for Craps when we had lunch last week, so Jeff and I edged in at one of the tables across the street at Binion's and played a round. I LOVED it. I hummed songs from Guys and Dolls the whole time. 

Then things got interesting. We walked into a dive called La Bayou, where Jenni and I had played WAY too many penny slots when we met up with her family the week of Thanksgiving in 2006. We sat down hoping to see a cocktail waitress for a drink and put 20 bucks in a 25 cent slot machine. I think we pulled three times before the thing went berserk – lights, buzzers, general commotion. We weren't even paying attention and had no idea what we'd won – but before we knew it there was a girl dressed like Chiquita Banana giving us Mardi Gras beads and a nicely-dressed man counting money into our hands. 300 dollars! We called it a night. Welcome to Vegas.

Friday we slept in. Repeat. Slept. In. Ahhhhhhhhh. The first day in WAY too long that we didn't have a single thing to do or place to be. It was wonderful. We enjoyed it so much we slept late every day we were there. Double beds and everything. And after dragging ourselves out of bed, we took advantage of a buy-one-get-one ticket the hotel had given us for a breakfast buffet where I systematically destroyed what little progress I've made on my seriously-your-kid's-over-a-year-old-you-should-probably-think-about-losing-some-baby-weight program. But they had omelettes! And waffles! And french toast! And bacon! And I'll stop now. You get it. It was sinfully good.

We squeezed in a little sun-worshipping each day we were there. Mm hmm. Lounge chair IN the pool. Can't beat it. And though I've already caught some serious flack for this – we took naps. We were in Vegas. And we took naps. We slept in AND we took naps. We were on v-a-c-a-t-i-o-n.  

Friday, we were practically run over by two huge guys wearing Harlem Globetrotters jerseys and large backpacks running down the street followed by cameramen. I joked that they were probably on The Amazing Race. And sure enough, they ran up to The Golden Gate casino and ran back down the street carrying a big black and yellow card clearly reading "The Amazing Race"! I don't watch the show, but it was still exciting.

The weather was unbelievable the whole time we were there. Friday and Saturday set records for the lowest highs in history! Love it! And I watched more baseball on Friday than I have my whole life. The Yankees took their sweet time and 15 innings to beat the Red Sox that night and we spent almost every minute of the game in one Sports Book or another, watching the game. The Yankees pulled it out for us, and even won us some more the next night. Woo hoo!

After learning Craps, I got brave and tried my hand at Roulette. And if you ever need some lucky numbers – you just let me know. I sat down with $40 and told the dealer I'd never played before. I picked my numbers and she helped me place my bets — and a couple spins later I'd turned $40 into well over $100. I had no idea what was going on, though, and a few minutes later I was back down to $100 and decided to cash out. Not bad for a first-timer!

Vegas was wonderful wonderful wonderful, but the Grammar Queen never takes a vacation. This is a pic* of an ad on the back of a cab driver's seat. It took every manner I had not to rip it down.

iPhone_cab pic

That's right, folks. Dinning and Attractions. Gah.

There were two more signs that caught my eye – but I couldn't get photos so you'll have to take my word. One was at the top of the water slide at the pool. (Side bar: The pool at the Golden Nugget is built around a shark tank – very cool. The waterslide tube goes straight through the shark tank!) While waiting in line for the slide, I read the Rules and Warnings Sign. It included instructions as to what sliders should do in the event of an emergency that should require the "evacuation" of the slide. One of the instructions said that "sliders already in the slide should continue on to the bottom of the slide". We laughed pretty hard at that. Really? You mean if there's an emergency, I should keep moving down a rapidly-moving waterslide? I shouldn't stop. Turn around. And go back up the slide? Thanks for the instructions.

The other sign of note was on the airplane. Disclaimer on the back of the Emergency Procedure Card: "If you are unable to read and understand English, please notify a flight attendant immediately." Yeah.

We were so ready to get home to our little guy after three days away — and Granny and Pop took such good care of him. He wore them out and Grandmother spent Sunday night warning telling me various ways that "he is just like his Dad". I can't thank them enough for sacrificing time and sleep and peace to give us a weekend to relax.   

*That picture is literally the only one I have of our entire weekend. And it's taken with my phone. I took my camera with me, but didn't carry a bag or purse the whole time we were there — only pockets. Apologies for the photo-less post. 

2 thoughts on “Three and a Long-necked Chicken

  1. Ahhhh…..nothing like Lucy and Desi beds, when you’re celebrating your 3rd wedding anniversary!

  2. You & your Seinfeld… but yeah, I would’ve probably thrown a shoe a Dennis.

    Sounds like you guys had a blast! Now get back to planning for AFRICA! :)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *