Or maybe I’m starting to believe it, too.

So the World Series is over. And today is your lucky day. You get a peek behind the curtain into my world.

 

If you had told me 5 years ago that one day I would not only be able to distinguish between the various anchors and commentators on ESPN, but also to PREFER one over another — or that I would be intimately familiar with the sizing of men’s clothing — or that I would develop the patience required to live with living room furniture and kitchen appliances that are older than I am because “they still work!?” – I would not have believed you. Just this week, I was talking recent television ads with some (female) coworkers and I brought up the series of ads that Sony has been doing for HDTV — featuring Peyton Manning explaining that since most major sporting events are recorded with high-definiton Sony cameras that they should be enjoyed on high-definiton Sony televisions. When I got a room full of blank stares, I realized that those ads probably only run on ESPN…

My sweet husband has enriched my life with such things.

And the trend has continued this week with the culmination of ‘The Conspiracy Theory’. Jeff has always insisted that “TV” decides which teams go to playoffs for various professional sports and “TV” decides how many games are played in a series and “TV” decides if a game needs to go into overtime. It’s all about ratings and it’s all about money. And while I don’t disagree with the notion that pro sports is all about money — I am a little uncomfortable agreeing to the idea that “TV” determines the participants and duration of important sporting events.

The most recent evidence of said conspiracy is an article in the NY Daily News following the finalizing of the teams participating in the World Series this year. First, let me be clear that I probably couldn’t care less about professional baseball and only notice that it is baseball season when a show I want to watch is preempted by extra innings or playoffs or some such thing. The Daily News suggests that “TV” is not pleased with the teams in the World Series this year — because they aren’t in big enough markets to matter. And that they’d prefer a “West Coast” team and an “East Coast” team. So not only are there two “East Coast” teams in the Series, but who in the world cares about Tampa Bay??

So Jeff is using this article as validation for his crazy theory about professional sports. I can’t count the number of times I’ve heard him say during a game — “TV has it set up so that the game will go into overtime” or “TV has it set up so that the series goes at least 6 games” or “TV has it set up so the [team name] will lose”. He is convinced that somewhere there is a room full of TV execs, heads thrown back in a maniacal cackle, moving teams around on a giant chess board. I actually picture it kinda like the big scary crystal ball that the Wicked Witch of the West uses to spy on Dorothy. All those poor, unsuspecting little athletes and coaches — running around thinking they are actually EARNING those millions of dollars.

He maintains that unless there is a New York team, a Boston team, a Chicago team, or a California team — that they might as well not even play.

I wonder — does “TV” also control the weather? Did TV plan to postpone the series with rain to spice things up a little? Or was TV testing the waters to see if anyone was really watching?  Did anyone even notice that the games had been postponed?  And now that the series is over – in 5 games – I am starting to believe maybe TV was so bored with the match-up and advertisers were peeved enough about their seemingly wasted advertising dollars that TV let the series be over already. Fine. Phillies win. Who cares?

Jeff does make concessions for college sports – those games are legit. Which is a good thing or else I’d wonder what in the world “TV” has against the Razorbacks this year!

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