This past Saturday was Washer Delivery #4 from Lowe’s, God love ’em. Number. Four.

Several weeks ago, we decided to take a trip to Lowe’s and take advantage of their first purchase financing yada yada 10% off no interest deal. We talked to a nice man named Don and picked out a washer and dryer for the new house. Easy, right? We went back last week and bought the things and arranged to have them delivered Saturday (23 February). Saturday comes and I bravely stay at the house long enough to sign for the new washer and dryer before I go to the doctor for drugs to kill the flu. The Lowe’s truck comes and brings our shiny new washer and dryer (Delivery #1). But there’s a rather large ding in the front of the washer. Dang. The delivery guy says they’ll either discount the dinged washer or we can get a new one delivered. We opt for the new one.

So about an hour later– same two guys show up with a new washer (Delivery #2). Yah! New Washer and dryer! I spend the rest of the day in (Becky’s) bed with the flu, while Jeff/Logan/Becky move our stuff into the new house. Sunday night we decide to try out the new washer. We load it up, push start and it’s not long before our TV watching is interrupted by the most God-awful noise you ever heard. Coming from the new washer. I have since taken to referring to this noise as “The Wolverine” — but that night it was quite alarming to hear metal-on-metal-grinding/shredding-that-could-wake-the-dead coming from our beautiful new washer. I know there are a few of you out there thinking, “it was probably just the washer settling” or “maybe it was off-balance”. I’m here to tell you – this washer was possessed. So I drained it, left the soaking wet clothes in there to deal with later — and decided to call Lowe’s in the morning. 

So Monday morning, I talk to Don at Lowe’s. We arrange Delivery #3 for later that day. And as luck would have it, the only other washer they have like ours – is the original washer from Delivery #1 – ding and all. So we agree that while they order us a new one, we’ll take the dinged one. So they send a nice lady out to “take a look” at the possessed washer. They clearly didn’t believe me that it was making a seriously unpleasant noise. So Monday morning, she comes in and turns on the washer. It is making some clicking between Soak and Wash or whatever — and she gives me a look as if to say, “that’s the noise you complained about?” I assure her that she’ll know when she hears this noise. The washer keeps filling with water – gentle, normal noises coming from inside. I start to get nervous that I’ve cried wolf. Then, without warning, “The Wolverine” appeared. Slashing gnashing shredding – the whole scene. She quickly lifts the lid to stop the noise and then, embarrassed, looks at me and mouths “somethin’s not right”. You don’t say.

So she hauls The Wolverine away, installs the dinged washer and promises to call when they get a new one ordered. I decide not to hold my breath for this.

Lo and behold, Don calls Thursday (28 February) with news of impending Delivery #4. We’ve since washed a few loads in the dinged washer and it seems to be functioning without problems. We arrange Delivery #4 for this past Saturday. Everything goes off without a hitch – except that we had to lend the delivery/installation guy some tools because he didn’t bring any… – and we now have the washer for which we originally paid. Yah! The only problem now is that we are pretty sure we left the plastic measuring cap for the laundry soap in the washer that got hauled away Saturday so we are now “free pouring” our Tide. But so far, so good — 4th time’s the charm!

Now. You may be under the impression that I blame this on Lowe’s. You’d be wrong. In reality, I have nothing but great things to say about their customer service and willingness to right the wrong. In case you are wondering, the Washer/Dryer are GE which – to my knowledge – is not owned/manufactured by Lowe’s. I’m also pretty sure that this was my first Lowe’s purchase - ever – and I will definitely be going back. Our new friend Don has single-handedly earned our home improvement business.

In other washer news (yes, there’s more) -  

Whoever lived in the house before we did – had a washer that they obviously didn’t want to take with them. So it was loitering in the garage – taking up space where my car should go. I talked to the new landlady about this and she agreed to get it out of there. So a few weeks ago - while Becky and I were at the house getting some stuff done – New Landlady comes over and she and her husband drag the old washer across the driveway and perch it on the curb with a sign reading, “FREE”. She explains this to me like she does it everyday, “they” will come by and get it, no problem. I thought this was a strange way to get rid of things – but I didn’t argue with her. And I tell Jeff the situation. And he acts like this is the most humiliating thing that’s ever happened to him. He cannot believe that I agreed to let someone put appliances in our front yard! I patiently explain to him that she didn’t so much ask me as tell me that’s what she was going to do. And there was nothing to be done. So we had a washer in our front yard. 

Washer 001 Washer 002  

A few days go by and Jeff continues to steam about the washer in the front yard and how tacky it looks. I agree, of course, but am at a loss. Do I stand up to New Landlady and tell her we refuse to have her garbage in our front yard? Or do I hope and pray that someone desperate-for-a-washer-that-may-or-may-not-work comes along and snatches it out of our yard? I didn’t have to wait long for a resolution.

Washer 003 Washer 004

Someone reported us! How embarrassing! I don’t know if you can tell from the photo of the neon orange “NOTICE” but the box marked “Junk/Debris” is checked. This incident happened to coincide with Delivery #1/#2 (see above) of our new washer so I politely asked the Lowe’s guys to haul the eyesore from the lawn. Now we are the trashy redneck new neighbors who don’t know how to dispose of our own trash… great. And Jeff gets to gloat, vindicated, that he knew the washer-on-the-front-lawn plan was a bad idea from the start. I hate that.

2 thoughts on “The Washer Chronicles.

  1. I too am in disbelief that you would actually put up with a washer in your yard. That’s not like you.

  2. If only you lived in a trailer — you could be “white trailer trash”!!!

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